It is almost pointless to think that you can stay at a high point in "emotional life" forever. You have to come down someday... right? (Define High Point) A state at which you are truly feeling without want or care. Something great has been happening. The winds of change are on your side. You are breathing new air and you like it! Nothing is wrong. A contentment? A place where you are needless and therefore wanting to take on everything. But once you go ahead and take on the world, the world is thrown back at you. And you come down.
Now here is a question... can you be content without an emotional high. Is contentment merely defined as a emotional feel good place or is it something that you choose. A choice. A point of reference or a frame of mind. To choose to not let your emotions take control over your self confidence, aspect of life, or state of being. (gosh that's hard!)
Lets define a LOW, shall we. A common definition in everyday life would be... "Just ain't feeling it." or maybe something substantial did occur. The passing away of a loved one, the loss of a job or the stress of providing for your family or yourself. Day to day shit that just piles up and you don't know what to do with. How would it be possible to be content in those states. That place where you have your back against the wall and you just want to release all sort of responsibility and start over. At those moments, what does contentment truly mean. To be peaceful, not to worry. Everything is going to work itself out. A understanding that no matter what, you are going to get through this. Where does that sort of peace and understanding come from? It has to be something that is not of ourselves. To give up and give in. A denying of self. A release of self.
My pursuit of carrying over contentment has driven me to maybe a false sense of peace. I try to fabricate some sort of emotion, that everything is going to be ok. That somehow I can control the situation and have peace that is forced out a quiet place deep down inside. But, no matter how hard I try, the second that I give up is the moment when the sense of peace is there. A divine peace, that I could never bring myself. Something that is given to me. What ever that means. (insecure of everything I just wrote lol) I think there is some sort of truth in that. what? I have yet to define clearly enough, I apologize. The pursuit of contentment is key. maybe.
